(There are things in her words that hurt, that hit him in ways deeper than any physical wound. It's unfair, really, the way Hikaru carries these burdens and has to go through each day here while...
Ah,)
Hikaru.
You've been through a lot since you've been here. It's really not fair. (And he brushes back her bangs with his hands. Of course, he can't just let her see him either and he rises as he does, looking up and away,) I've never had a sister. I've never wanted siblings because I never wanted anyone else to be like me.
(To live the life he did. To experience the things he did. And now, he has someone who looks up to him like one and what does he see? The exact thing he wanted to avoid.)
I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm trying to figure things out... but there's a lot. What I do know though is, I want to protect you. I want you to be safe and happy. And I don't want you to ever feel like you're alone.
No matter what, if you need anything, you can talk to me, okay? Even if I'm not the best person... I'll try.
[She does, predictably, try to lift her head. But she spots him looking away, speaking to air, and she lowers her eyes again, letting him speak.
It's bittersweet - to hear he cares about her like a sister, on the wave of him saying he never wanted one in the first place. Her fingers tighten a little, thinking.]
I think... that might be the good thing, about having somebody with you. Like a brother or sister. You might go through the same kinds of things a little bit, but... you aren't the same people. You can know the same things as somebody else but know them in a different way.
So, you can trust each other. And take care of each other, as much as you can... but you're still just you. And you still gotta do what your heart feels is the right thing.
It's like the prince I told you about, a little bit. He couldn't ever go through what his sister went through, because they had to live different lives... but it doesn't mean that he loved her any less, or that he wasn't gonna do whatever he could for her when she was in trouble. She would have done the same for him.
I'm not gonna be you. I'm not gonna be anyone but myself. But... I admire you a lot, Nii-chan. Even if you've acted in ways that are hurtful or think things I don't agree with... you let me think, and you're kind, and you don't...
...
You don't just treat me like a kid all the time. Maybe... because you know, that sometimes being a kid doesn't... keep you from making hard choices.
No... I think if I had a sister, or even a little brother... I would want them to be better than me.
(For them, he would make the mistakes. He would endure every word and every attack. In his heart, he knows if he had someone to look out for, someone to protect... he would do anything to keep them safe, even if he had to carry an extra burden. Even if that burden crushed him.
Like now.
It's funny, he thinks, how much Hikaru's words dig at him, dredging up memories and past actions.)
Hah! (He lets out a laugh at something she says, surprisingly bright despite his mood and the heaviness around him.) You think I'm like a prince?
(He looks down at her, a shine in his eye-- playful and knowing and then places a hand on her head, pushing it down gently as he ruffles her hair,)
Well then, it's true, being a kid doesn't keep you from making hard choices. I learned that early on. But don't forget to be a kid, too.
Big brother Claude didn't have much of a childhood so make sure to have one for him and tell him what that's like.
(Laughs in memory loss hahaha.)
If I can make you happy... then that makes me happy, too.
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no subject
Ah,)
Hikaru.
You've been through a lot since you've been here. It's really not fair. (And he brushes back her bangs with his hands. Of course, he can't just let her see him either and he rises as he does, looking up and away,) I've never had a sister. I've never wanted siblings because I never wanted anyone else to be like me.
(To live the life he did. To experience the things he did. And now, he has someone who looks up to him like one and what does he see? The exact thing he wanted to avoid.)
I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm trying to figure things out... but there's a lot. What I do know though is, I want to protect you. I want you to be safe and happy. And I don't want you to ever feel like you're alone.
No matter what, if you need anything, you can talk to me, okay? Even if I'm not the best person... I'll try.
no subject
It's bittersweet - to hear he cares about her like a sister, on the wave of him saying he never wanted one in the first place. Her fingers tighten a little, thinking.]
I think... that might be the good thing, about having somebody with you. Like a brother or sister. You might go through the same kinds of things a little bit, but... you aren't the same people. You can know the same things as somebody else but know them in a different way.
So, you can trust each other. And take care of each other, as much as you can... but you're still just you. And you still gotta do what your heart feels is the right thing.
It's like the prince I told you about, a little bit. He couldn't ever go through what his sister went through, because they had to live different lives... but it doesn't mean that he loved her any less, or that he wasn't gonna do whatever he could for her when she was in trouble. She would have done the same for him.
I'm not gonna be you. I'm not gonna be anyone but myself. But... I admire you a lot, Nii-chan. Even if you've acted in ways that are hurtful or think things I don't agree with... you let me think, and you're kind, and you don't...
...
You don't just treat me like a kid all the time. Maybe... because you know, that sometimes being a kid doesn't... keep you from making hard choices.
no subject
(For them, he would make the mistakes. He would endure every word and every attack. In his heart, he knows if he had someone to look out for, someone to protect... he would do anything to keep them safe, even if he had to carry an extra burden. Even if that burden crushed him.
Like now.
It's funny, he thinks, how much Hikaru's words dig at him, dredging up memories and past actions.)
Hah! (He lets out a laugh at something she says, surprisingly bright despite his mood and the heaviness around him.) You think I'm like a prince?
(He looks down at her, a shine in his eye-- playful and knowing and then places a hand on her head, pushing it down gently as he ruffles her hair,)
Well then, it's true, being a kid doesn't keep you from making hard choices. I learned that early on. But don't forget to be a kid, too.
Big brother Claude didn't have much of a childhood so make sure to have one for him and tell him what that's like.
(Laughs in memory loss hahaha.)
If I can make you happy... then that makes me happy, too.