(His answer comes surprisingly quick for someone who'd gone through such trouble to keep that person safe.)
If there was no other choice, I would have.
(He would have pushed to catch Sharon's killer instead. To have them take Hilda's place instead. To protect the people important to him, he would have tried any option he could.)
It's okay to not be okay, Nii-chan. If I... if I had to do what you did, and somebody I cared about had to do such a horrible thing... I wouldn't want them to die, either.
But I think, no matter what happened, no matter how I chose... my heart might always feel like a hole was left behind. For me, and for my special people, and for anybody. There's... there's no answer that doesn't leave someone in pain.
I think... it would be easy, to hate myself for having to make that choice.
(He won't really reach to hold her or anything. It's difficult to feel like he can get a grasp of anything right now after what feels like weeks of that one week recurring over and over. Right now, everything just feels like an accumulation of everything that's gone wrong reaching a tipping point.
But he will lean against her, eyes closed, and just... stay quiet for a moment.
There had been more to Schwann's message.
How far are you willing to go while ignoring the feelings of others? Think carefully about what's most important and whether it's worth it.
Very quietly,)
I can't make everything right. But I want to right what I can.
(Fix what he can. Make things a little more right.)
[To have him be so quiet feels so odd... She can't quite pinpoint his feeling, and part of her knows she will not be able to see that part of him. Some parts of his heart would need to stay secret.
But he's hurting, he's almost apologetic without being regretful about his choice, he's wanting something to change. He's talking.
That's... enough, for now. It's more than enough.]
I can't do it for you, Nii-chan... no matter how much it hurts, I think it's like a river you have to cross, and you might slip and fall and the water might feel like it will drag you away.
But the people who love you so much will be here to make sure you don't drown in your river, Nii-chan. We'll help you up. We'll hold your hand, if you want it.
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no subject
(His answer comes surprisingly quick for someone who'd gone through such trouble to keep that person safe.)
If there was no other choice, I would have.
(He would have pushed to catch Sharon's killer instead. To have them take Hilda's place instead. To protect the people important to him, he would have tried any option he could.)
no subject
...
It's okay to not be okay, Nii-chan. If I... if I had to do what you did, and somebody I cared about had to do such a horrible thing... I wouldn't want them to die, either.
But I think, no matter what happened, no matter how I chose... my heart might always feel like a hole was left behind. For me, and for my special people, and for anybody. There's... there's no answer that doesn't leave someone in pain.
I think... it would be easy, to hate myself for having to make that choice.
no subject
But he will lean against her, eyes closed, and just... stay quiet for a moment.
There had been more to Schwann's message.
How far are you willing to go while ignoring the feelings of others? Think carefully about what's most important and whether it's worth it.
Very quietly,)
I can't make everything right. But I want to right what I can.
(Fix what he can. Make things a little more right.)
no subject
[To have him be so quiet feels so odd... She can't quite pinpoint his feeling, and part of her knows she will not be able to see that part of him. Some parts of his heart would need to stay secret.
But he's hurting, he's almost apologetic without being regretful about his choice, he's wanting something to change. He's talking.
That's... enough, for now. It's more than enough.]
I can't do it for you, Nii-chan... no matter how much it hurts, I think it's like a river you have to cross, and you might slip and fall and the water might feel like it will drag you away.
But the people who love you so much will be here to make sure you don't drown in your river, Nii-chan. We'll help you up. We'll hold your hand, if you want it.