[our crimes continue to the very end and i hate it]
He asked someone else to help him, and it... ended up being Shuuya.
The only thing Schwann ever meant for us to know was that he was sorry, and that two people needed to be killed. Everything else... Shuuya added himself.
He was really, really mad at me for what I did, and both Hilda-chan and Bucky-san hurt people that Shuuya cared about. So... he used Raven to guilt me, and to get me to make people think badly of the other two.
(SURPRISE!!! Also a flash of anger? Offense? Because that message had been a source of so much grief for him. The final straw on top of a terrible week. The thing that had almost pushed him over an edge that he had to be pulled back from--)
Yeah. I think... since Sensei knew some of the roles, it could have been checked, maybe. Raven wouldn't have said something like that without explaining. It's why I didn't tell anybody else, outside of you and a couple others.
[She just looks really conflicted about all of this, in the same way she'd looked when talking to Claude about the lies he was telling - a muddled mess of disappointment and concern and anger and empathy, but directed to someone not in the room.]
I don't blame Shuuya for saying what he said to me. It... got me to think about a lot, and he deserved to be really angry. But he still hurt a lot of people. He made us think Raven was a lot angrier at us than he was, he made us think that people might be in danger...
[...
She sighs, a little ragged, pulling at her bangs as she looks off to the side.]
Raven made sure to correct me, and Shuuya already knows how I feel about it. I just know it's... it's probably not something he cares enough about to apologize for. He'd rather make a lot of people hate him than ever say he's sorry for his own feelings.
(Since they were both dead. They must have spoken to each other. And it had given him so much anxiety and grief at the time. If Raven was telling people this then what was Cater doing? Was anyone else speaking? Really...
But it's all in the past now and that honestly seems like so long ago. He folds his arms across his center, his finger tapping at his elbow, thoughtfully, agitatedly.)
I've said all that I want to say to him. (He isn't going to go out of his way to speak to Kano anymore, to be honest.) Some things are best left alone.
He and Cater were really close, and I know he said Bucky-san did something to someone he loved that he couldn't forgive. I... wouldn't be surprised if he just did this out of his own bitterness. [It doesn't make it right. But it was, at least, an attempt at understanding.]
...I don't think anybody needs to help him. I don't think he wants it. But... I already made enough mistakes trying to help him without understanding why. [And she just got chewed out a tiny bit at trial for still standing up for him, regardless of all of This.]
I don't... I won't ask you to forgive him, Khalid. But... I felt it would be cruel for you to not know what really happened.
(... It isn't fine. But at this point? The end feels in sight and it's so much better to move on than to revert back. So instead, he focuses on the now. On Hikaru.
And he sits down on the bed next to her, pushing back her bangs and kissing the top of her forehead,)
Thank you for telling me. (He appreciates it, really.) The only thing I love more than questions is answers.
(And this was an answer to a question he hadn't even realized he actually had. Isn't that a surprise?)
[Mmm. Her face tightens up a little as she leans against him, her legs pulled up onto the bed.]
I will. I just... [Mmm. She fiddles with the edge of her skirt.] I'm really not like Nii-chan in that way, I guess. Thinking a lot about so many things at once... it just makes my heart hurt.
(For the heart to ache. After so many years, he's managed to steel his heart so he barely flinches these days but he's aware of the pangs all the same.
He's also fluffing the pillows now,)
That's when it helps to have someone to talk to. Empty your mind and give the heart a break, one thought at a time. It doesn't make the ache go away... but it helps.
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[She thinks this is a no, but... she is treading carefully here for once.]
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That dang cursed letter.)
I didn't ask about it, no.
(Because he had his own assumptions based on what he knew.)
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[She takes a second to think over her words, but there's a smile on her face, even if it's tired and a little conflicted.]
You remember how we were all missing a sense that week, right?
The dead weren't any different. Schwann... he couldn't see anything. He couldn't write any letters.
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... How did he write his letters, then?
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He asked someone else to help him, and it... ended up being Shuuya.
The only thing Schwann ever meant for us to know was that he was sorry, and that two people needed to be killed. Everything else... Shuuya added himself.
He was really, really mad at me for what I did, and both Hilda-chan and Bucky-san hurt people that Shuuya cared about. So... he used Raven to guilt me, and to get me to make people think badly of the other two.
1/2
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The bastard.
(He's so tired. Just thinking about that made him tired. But who else had seen that letter? Hikaru, Chiron, Xie Lian, and Soo-won?)
... He might have succeeded some what. (Poor Vezda seems to have gotten the worst of it.) But not completely.
(And Claude can be petty and spiteful enough to find some joy in that. Kano's plan wasn't so perfect!!)
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[She just looks really conflicted about all of this, in the same way she'd looked when talking to Claude about the lies he was telling - a muddled mess of disappointment and concern and anger and empathy, but directed to someone not in the room.]
I don't blame Shuuya for saying what he said to me. It... got me to think about a lot, and he deserved to be really angry. But he still hurt a lot of people. He made us think Raven was a lot angrier at us than he was, he made us think that people might be in danger...
[...
She sighs, a little ragged, pulling at her bangs as she looks off to the side.]
Raven made sure to correct me, and Shuuya already knows how I feel about it. I just know it's... it's probably not something he cares enough about to apologize for. He'd rather make a lot of people hate him than ever say he's sorry for his own feelings.
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(Since they were both dead. They must have spoken to each other. And it had given him so much anxiety and grief at the time. If Raven was telling people this then what was Cater doing? Was anyone else speaking? Really...
But it's all in the past now and that honestly seems like so long ago. He folds his arms across his center, his finger tapping at his elbow, thoughtfully, agitatedly.)
I've said all that I want to say to him. (He isn't going to go out of his way to speak to Kano anymore, to be honest.) Some things are best left alone.
... I'm not the one that can help him, either.
(Not with his Sins.)
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...I don't think anybody needs to help him. I don't think he wants it. But... I already made enough mistakes trying to help him without understanding why. [And she just got chewed out a tiny bit at trial for still standing up for him, regardless of all of This.]
I don't... I won't ask you to forgive him, Khalid. But... I felt it would be cruel for you to not know what really happened.
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(... It isn't fine. But at this point? The end feels in sight and it's so much better to move on than to revert back. So instead, he focuses on the now. On Hikaru.
And he sits down on the bed next to her, pushing back her bangs and kissing the top of her forehead,)
Thank you for telling me. (He appreciates it, really.) The only thing I love more than questions is answers.
(And this was an answer to a question he hadn't even realized he actually had. Isn't that a surprise?)
You look tired. You should rest.
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I will. I just... [Mmm. She fiddles with the edge of her skirt.] I'm really not like Nii-chan in that way, I guess. Thinking a lot about so many things at once... it just makes my heart hurt.
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(For the heart to ache. After so many years, he's managed to steel his heart so he barely flinches these days but he's aware of the pangs all the same.
He's also fluffing the pillows now,)
That's when it helps to have someone to talk to. Empty your mind and give the heart a break, one thought at a time. It doesn't make the ache go away... but it helps.