[ here's the quiet corner!! xie lian has a tea tray in his hands, and if he's been sort of shuffling around for the past hour with it, well ... don't judge him, alright?
the quiet corner this time is actually in the hallway near hua cheng's room, and xie lian gives claude a quiet nod as he is very gently cutting off his escape path. ]
...Claude, come sit for a little while with us. You look like you've been buzzing about all day.
There's a corridor. Nondescript but open and bright, filled with sunlight. Is it some sort of garden? A temple? He can't remember. The walls are bleached with light. There should be something there… color? What color were the walls? What was beyond those arches? It's missing. Something is missing. (What's missing?)
And tucked behind those arches, away from the outside, in the shadows that make up the inside, a boy finds himself against a wall. His robes aren't the same as the ones they wear in Fodlan. They're… different. That's all he knows about them. But this isn't in Fodlan. He knows that much. This is a faraway land, the name still fresh in his memory but this place is gone. (Where is it?)
The cornered boy braces a hand against the wall behind him. He glares up at the taller boys around him. Their eyes are different— shades of gold and brown like the earth while his are a bright green, like the forests, like the grasslands, like—
"The eyes of a weakling."
He's not. He's not weak, he snaps and when he's pressed further back into his corner…
Claude realizes his position now, caught between Hua Cheng and Xie Lian, herded into a corner away from where others can see. He hasn't felt this in so long. It had begun to feel like a memory.
A memory he still has. He still has this memory, even if he can't remember it all.
And he immediately begins to back away, trying to create a space between himself and them. Of course, it's too late and he only backs into Hua Cheng which has him looking for another escape. His eyes flash-- bright, defiant, the eyes of someone who knows he's caught and is willing to fight to get out of it. He lets out a laugh, forced and lacking,)
What's this?
(He's amused. He's so terribly amused. He's already trapped. There's no escape. Why? Why why can't he get away from anything here.)
I can't. (Please please just let him go. He can't sit still. He has to try... something.) I can't stay still.
[ The thing about this is that Hua Cheng knows the look - knows it from experience, on both sides, the opressive feeling of being trapped in a corner and fighting with defiance in your eyes just as well as he does the hunter that's cornered his target. There's no pity in his expression as Claude bumps back into him, though. Not really any sympathy, either, or the same unkind intent that they're both familiar with.
He just looks impassively down at him, pulling out his PHS to unlock the door. It's easy to reach around him when he's already in this position, and his other hand reaches, settles, between his shoulders. No grip in his clothes, just a solid force. ]
If you won't stay still, then pace until you collapse - inside.
[ It's just a cage, isn't it, loathed little boy with mixed blood?
If anyone knows, understands, Hua Cheng does, even if there is no mercy with the sympathy. ]
xie lian has no pity, either, though to say he's impassive is completely wrong. rather, xie lian's eyes are kind where he stands in front of him, as they always are - full of worry and care. he's been keeping an eye on claude the entire weekend, watching his reactions (and non reactions), and xie lian, who has come to be so very fond of claude von riegan, cannot let him suffer, when he is clearly suffering so, so much.
the last thing that xie lian has ever done is stand by when people are suffering. to the ends of the earth, he will care for others - no matter what it takes to do so.
he nods to what hua cheng says, with a quiet ] Please. [ and sidles around the both of them, to push the door in and enter, holding it open to let hua cheng gently bully claude into the room. ]
(It's the same look that person gives him. Eyes that see everything, that just understand a person. Eyes that give sympathy but no pity. The eyes of a person who accepts people unconditionally, regardless of their faults.
It's nice? It's nice.
It's actually kind of nice, the way it reminds him of that person. Even if that person is gone. Missing. Would they ever come back? ... Why would they? He's just another student to them, isn't he? Even if they're alive (he believes in them. surely, they're alive) why would they come back to him of all people?
There's a force on his back and his legs move, letting himself be guided inside the room.
"inside"
Even if there are trees and water this should feel like he's outside... this is "inside." He's so very aware of that right now.
And he doesn't really sit or anything, instead, opting to just hover as close to the door, as close to the exit as they'll let him be. And he doesn't really speak. If he does
his thoughts wouldn't be able to keep up. That's dangerous.)
[ A glance is given to Xie Lian as they come into the room, like the sentenced being lead to their final moments, but Hua Cheng lets Claude go where he wants to. The room is quiet, the radio off, so the only noise is that of the deceptive "nature" that is given to them.
He knows better than to let Claude get a chance for escape, so he also lingers near the door. Because at the first sign of an out... a deer will bolt, even if they freeze up, first, won't they? That's not something he wants to have happen, before they can talk to him.
But it's not - an interogation. Even if he's more cold to Xie Lian's warmth, the fact he's involved in this at all speaks volumes in itself. Ordinarily, this wouldn't be something he'd look twice at. Why do that, when it's someone else's problem, one that has stacked on them so obviously? Other people have rarely been his direct concern.
(Calloussness to cover caring, disinterest to distract from the helping hand he's offered. Concern being afforded to anyone but gege is a laughable thought, but here he is, anyways, after their tea on Tuesday, after the trial on Saturday, the execution on Sunday.
Because... he was in this position, once, wasn't he? He's had the fortune of a hand reaching out to him, warm and worried eyes filled with kindness, care, when it felt like the world did nothing kind for him.) ]
[ the owner of that hand that reached out to hua cheng enters the room and does settle down. xie lian is as ever exerting an utter calm; even during emotion share week, his emotions were rarely particularly turbulent. he's long since learned to navigate his own stormy seas, and keeps his heart as still as water in the most dangerous of moments, though that water is perhaps less a tiny puddle and more so a wide, reaching ocean.
if anything were ever to define him, it's his compassion, and his care for other people, reflected here as he shares that same worried glance with hua cheng.
he's not sure what to say, at first, watching him. scared. afraid. lost. like a little boy who he held in his arms as the entire world turned against him. i'm not, i'm not, i'm not, that little boy screamed, and xie lian had held him as tightly as he could and shielded him from the way the world wanted to hurt him. you aren't a monster. you aren't. you aren't.
as hua cheng says claude's name, xie lian looks at him again, and then focuses back on the young man in their room, and his disposition. xie lian's voice is soft, thick with compassion - with concern, but with that steel resolution, too. the unbending vow of someone who has sworn to protect others with every single part of his soul, immortal or otherwise. ] ... You are safe in this room.
(He's quiet, letting the silence of the room settle. It isn't real. This artificial nature isn't real. But if he closes his eyes, he can imagine something real. An outside world, where things are big and everything else seems so small.
If he counts down from ten. If he takes a breath. If he listens to his name and listens to that promise...
Green eyes look up, focusing only Xie Lian for a moment. There's something lost but also something very aware in the way he watches him and then his eyes shift, just slightly to catch Hua Cheng in his peripheral. There's something... something turning. A thought? A plan?
And he takes a step further into the room and another until he sets himself down, legs crossed, back straight, shoulders tense. There's a certain upbringing at play, of someone used to putting on a front, keeping things together, appearing to be composed even when there's a heavy weight.)
Nothing is safe here.
(There are no safe places. Not this room. Not their relationships. Nothing.)
[ That - makes him laugh, humorlessly. Hua Cheng may have only one eye, but it's keen, and sharp, and he watches every move that Claude makes. It's a predator tracking, considering, but in this case... not attacking. There's no move to follow him, at least not yet. There's no tension in him. Because why attack something that you wish to protect, no matter how much you won't outright speak it?
Once he's at least settled, seated, he looks away from him to look at Xie Lian for another moment. Just a breath, and then he slowly tracks back to where Claude sits. ]
No, it isn't, is it? [ Because there's no greater reality, in the Realm, than knowing that nothing is quite as safe as you hope it to be.
But so many of them are still trying. Hua Cheng can only support them in these efforts, now, as he finds himself always at Xie Lian's side, caring about people here.
This person included. Unfortunate. ] What do you intend to do with that?
i made yall wait so long for like nothing im gomen
[ xie lian isn't the person to handle this, he doesn't think. he knows when to step back, and - he knows san lang is more than capable. xie lian will let him talk, now, instead focusing on pouring the tea and getting that settled for them both.
nothing is safe here. perhaps so, but thinking in such ways is dangerous. ]
(What words does he even say here? There are entirely too many in his head and it feels like he needs to really think about the questions being asked at him. He hasn't felt like this... in years. So hopelessly lost and alone with himself.)
I want to protect everyone.
(And as soon as the words spill from his lips, he wants to cringe because as much as he hopes for this. As much as he wishes for this--)
But I can't.
(There's no way. Every Thursday night, he falls into the same enchanted sleep and can't do anything to stop what happens. Every week, two people die and at best, they can only catch one person. Someone will always get away. If not both. They've already messed up once-- scapegoated one innocent person. Every week, it feels like they vote blindly.)
Keeping secrets, living each week with the dread of death, fighting and arguing for our lives every time... No one should live like this.
(It's a life he'd never wish on anyone. There are people in this world who suffer and in turn, don't care if others suffer the same but that isn't Claude. He's experienced this once before and the last thing he'd want is for anyone else to feel that. To feel this.)
There are... people here who are dear to me. More people than I started off with.
Edited (let me have my puns) 2020-11-01 14:32 (UTC)
[ Listening, and watching, Hua Cheng thinks it best that Claude continues to set aside any belief in the gods. Perhaps at a glance someone would think that he would fit in with the Heavens, but with this -
No, that's not giving Claude enough credit. That's not taking into consideration the depths that contain the reality of who this person is, of the goals he has, the lives that he's been affected by and, in turn, those that he's affected. And once again, something about him resonates with Hua Cheng. There are... people here who are dear to me. More people than I started off with.
A dark laugh leaves him, low and quiet, as he faces that reality himself. But his gaze lifts to Xie Lian, for a moment. Just a decision's worth of time. ]
No one should live like this, and no one should die facing this fear, either. Even if there's a shadow being cast by the Realm, a limbo for people who are removed to enter, it's regardless a death that many aren't prepared for.
[ They can't all be like the Ghost King. They can't all be like any of the other immortals here, used to facing death, with contending with it, with accepting it around them.
A decision is easy enough. ]
You have someone from Swan willing to help you - I can't say I expected I would come to say I cared much about people, either, when we first got here, but I'm not particularly inclined to watch them suffer and sit idly by.
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no subject
the quiet corner this time is actually in the hallway near hua cheng's room, and xie lian gives claude a quiet nod as he is very gently cutting off his escape path. ]
...Claude, come sit for a little while with us. You look like you've been buzzing about all day.
no subject
And tucked behind those arches, away from the outside, in the shadows that make up the inside, a boy finds himself against a wall. His robes aren't the same as the ones they wear in Fodlan. They're… different. That's all he knows about them. But this isn't in Fodlan. He knows that much. This is a faraway land, the name still fresh in his memory but this place is gone. (Where is it?)
The cornered boy braces a hand against the wall behind him. He glares up at the taller boys around him. Their eyes are different— shades of gold and brown like the earth while his are a bright green, like the forests, like the grasslands, like—
"The eyes of a weakling."
He's not. He's not weak, he snaps and when he's pressed further back into his corner…
Claude realizes his position now, caught between Hua Cheng and Xie Lian, herded into a corner away from where others can see. He hasn't felt this in so long. It had begun to feel like a memory.
A memory he still has. He still has this memory, even if he can't remember it all.
And he immediately begins to back away, trying to create a space between himself and them. Of course, it's too late and he only backs into Hua Cheng which has him looking for another escape. His eyes flash-- bright, defiant, the eyes of someone who knows he's caught and is willing to fight to get out of it. He lets out a laugh, forced and lacking,)
What's this?
(He's amused. He's so terribly amused. He's already trapped. There's no escape. Why? Why why can't he get away from anything here.)
I can't. (Please please just let him go. He can't sit still. He has to try... something.) I can't stay still.
no subject
He just looks impassively down at him, pulling out his PHS to unlock the door. It's easy to reach around him when he's already in this position, and his other hand reaches, settles, between his shoulders. No grip in his clothes, just a solid force. ]
If you won't stay still, then pace until you collapse - inside.
[ It's just a cage, isn't it, loathed little boy with mixed blood?
If anyone knows, understands, Hua Cheng does, even if there is no mercy with the sympathy. ]
no subject
xie lian has no pity, either, though to say he's impassive is completely wrong. rather, xie lian's eyes are kind where he stands in front of him, as they always are - full of worry and care. he's been keeping an eye on claude the entire weekend, watching his reactions (and non reactions), and xie lian, who has come to be so very fond of claude von riegan, cannot let him suffer, when he is clearly suffering so, so much.
the last thing that xie lian has ever done is stand by when people are suffering. to the ends of the earth, he will care for others - no matter what it takes to do so.
he nods to what hua cheng says, with a quiet ] Please. [ and sidles around the both of them, to push the door in and enter, holding it open to let hua cheng gently bully claude into the room. ]
no subject
It's nice? It's nice.
It's actually kind of nice, the way it reminds him of that person. Even if that person is gone. Missing. Would they ever come back? ... Why would they? He's just another student to them, isn't he? Even if they're alive (he believes in them. surely, they're alive) why would they come back to him of all people?
There's a force on his back and his legs move, letting himself be guided inside the room.
"inside"
Even if there are trees and water this should feel like he's outside... this is "inside." He's so very aware of that right now.
And he doesn't really sit or anything, instead, opting to just hover as close to the door, as close to the exit as they'll let him be. And he doesn't really speak. If he does
his thoughts wouldn't be able to keep up. That's dangerous.)
no subject
He knows better than to let Claude get a chance for escape, so he also lingers near the door. Because at the first sign of an out... a deer will bolt, even if they freeze up, first, won't they? That's not something he wants to have happen, before they can talk to him.
But it's not - an interogation. Even if he's more cold to Xie Lian's warmth, the fact he's involved in this at all speaks volumes in itself. Ordinarily, this wouldn't be something he'd look twice at. Why do that, when it's someone else's problem, one that has stacked on them so obviously? Other people have rarely been his direct concern.
(Calloussness to cover caring, disinterest to distract from the helping hand he's offered. Concern being afforded to anyone but gege is a laughable thought, but here he is, anyways, after their tea on Tuesday, after the trial on Saturday, the execution on Sunday.
Because... he was in this position, once, wasn't he? He's had the fortune of a hand reaching out to him, warm and worried eyes filled with kindness, care, when it felt like the world did nothing kind for him.) ]
Claude.
no subject
if anything were ever to define him, it's his compassion, and his care for other people, reflected here as he shares that same worried glance with hua cheng.
he's not sure what to say, at first, watching him. scared. afraid. lost. like a little boy who he held in his arms as the entire world turned against him. i'm not, i'm not, i'm not, that little boy screamed, and xie lian had held him as tightly as he could and shielded him from the way the world wanted to hurt him. you aren't a monster. you aren't. you aren't.
as hua cheng says claude's name, xie lian looks at him again, and then focuses back on the young man in their room, and his disposition. xie lian's voice is soft, thick with compassion - with concern, but with that steel resolution, too. the unbending vow of someone who has sworn to protect others with every single part of his soul, immortal or otherwise. ] ... You are safe in this room.
[ you are safe, with us.
can he reach out a hand to you, too? ]
no subject
(He's quiet, letting the silence of the room settle. It isn't real. This artificial nature isn't real. But if he closes his eyes, he can imagine something real. An outside world, where things are big and everything else seems so small.
If he counts down from ten. If he takes a breath. If he listens to his name and listens to that promise...
Green eyes look up, focusing only Xie Lian for a moment. There's something lost but also something very aware in the way he watches him and then his eyes shift, just slightly to catch Hua Cheng in his peripheral. There's something... something turning. A thought? A plan?
And he takes a step further into the room and another until he sets himself down, legs crossed, back straight, shoulders tense. There's a certain upbringing at play, of someone used to putting on a front, keeping things together, appearing to be composed even when there's a heavy weight.)
Nothing is safe here.
(There are no safe places. Not this room. Not their relationships. Nothing.)
no subject
Once he's at least settled, seated, he looks away from him to look at Xie Lian for another moment. Just a breath, and then he slowly tracks back to where Claude sits. ]
No, it isn't, is it? [ Because there's no greater reality, in the Realm, than knowing that nothing is quite as safe as you hope it to be.
But so many of them are still trying. Hua Cheng can only support them in these efforts, now, as he finds himself always at Xie Lian's side, caring about people here.
This person included. Unfortunate. ] What do you intend to do with that?
i made yall wait so long for like nothing im gomen
nothing is safe here. perhaps so, but thinking in such ways is dangerous. ]
no subject
I want to protect everyone.
(And as soon as the words spill from his lips, he wants to cringe because as much as he hopes for this. As much as he wishes for this--)
But I can't.
(There's no way. Every Thursday night, he falls into the same enchanted sleep and can't do anything to stop what happens. Every week, two people die and at best, they can only catch one person. Someone will always get away. If not both. They've already messed up once-- scapegoated one innocent person. Every week, it feels like they vote blindly.)
Keeping secrets, living each week with the dread of death, fighting and arguing for our lives every time... No one should live like this.
(It's a life he'd never wish on anyone. There are people in this world who suffer and in turn, don't care if others suffer the same but that isn't Claude. He's experienced this once before and the last thing he'd want is for anyone else to feel that. To feel this.)
There are... people here who are dear to me. More people than I started off with.
no subject
No, that's not giving Claude enough credit. That's not taking into consideration the depths that contain the reality of who this person is, of the goals he has, the lives that he's been affected by and, in turn, those that he's affected. And once again, something about him resonates with Hua Cheng. There are... people here who are dear to me. More people than I started off with.
A dark laugh leaves him, low and quiet, as he faces that reality himself. But his gaze lifts to Xie Lian, for a moment. Just a decision's worth of time. ]
No one should live like this, and no one should die facing this fear, either. Even if there's a shadow being cast by the Realm, a limbo for people who are removed to enter, it's regardless a death that many aren't prepared for.
[ They can't all be like the Ghost King. They can't all be like any of the other immortals here, used to facing death, with contending with it, with accepting it around them.
A decision is easy enough. ]
You have someone from Swan willing to help you - I can't say I expected I would come to say I cared much about people, either, when we first got here, but I'm not particularly inclined to watch them suffer and sit idly by.